To Know

My first sunrise on what was then David's land. This glory followed a beautiful chilly starlit night spent sleeping under the blanket of heaven with my wonderful father and dear brother David! March 17, 2007

There's a part of our story I often forget to tell. A sampling of a book just reminded me of the sweetness of this memory faded, but still pursued yearning.

December 12, 2006

When David and I were still just getting to know each other as friends and dear brother and sister, he would tell stories from his past, like he still does. And somehow every detail would stay fast in my mind. I knew with absolute certainty if he'd told us that story before; I knew details of a past story that influenced the writing of a current story. Somehow, I could remember almost everything.

First picture ever taken of just us. I'd asked him if he wanted to make cookies with me. He seemed intrigued my my offer, smilingly accepted, and somehow we wound up with cookie on our noses! February 2007

Over for dinner and sharing a childhood book... and more stories! March 9, 2007

Nearly every time he'd finish a story I would have this unfamiliar ache to know more. I would look my brother in the eye and my mind would cry out, "I want to know him!" I did n0t have a "crush" on him or any feelings like that, he was just my friend and brother in Christ, "in all purity". But no matter what our relationship was, I couldn't shake this urge to know more. My curiosity had been stirred, and more than that, my sincere interest. I remember one specific night sitting on the couch, him on his traditional end and me on mine, looking at him, watching him, that friend, that brother, that man, and having that phrase, "I want to know him" resounding inescapably loud in my mind.

And yet, I knew my place. I knew that to know him, to hear the heart, to fathom who he was, to share the visions, to feel the emotions, to understand the man was the honorable and treasured privilege of his wife. So I refrained. The Lord knew my desire, for I believe He filled me with it, and I surrendered it to Him to hold power over. I loved David as a brother, and I did not want to take anything from the woman who would be his wife. To really know him was her gift and privilege, and I knew that. I prayed for her and hoped she would be my friend. :)

March/April 2007.

The day after we'd spent the night on his land (see first pic). Others joined us that day, but I had this desire to be where ever he was. I fought it, "I need to spend time with other folks too!" I instructed myself; but I had this strange desire to go where ever he went, do what ever he did. The Lord works in mysterious and wondrous ways!

The Lord worked and wooed; He blessed and inspired; He led and fed. We grew close, the Lord brought us close.

Hiking late March/early April 2007

He began to knit our minds...

"And I will give them a heart to know me, that I Am the LORD: and they shall be my people, and I will be their God: for they shall return unto me with their whole heart." Jeremiah24:7

and soon our hearts...

"Delight thyself also in the LORD: and He shall give thee the desire of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. " Psalm 37:4-5

and now our lives!

"And I will give them one heart, and one way, that they may fear me for ever, for the good of them, and their children after them..." Isiah 32:39

Covenanted together. What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder. May 2, 2007

And now

I am his wife.

I bear that honorable treasured privilege.

Now I seek and ache and yearn and crave and pray to

boundlessly know him,

to hear his heart, to fathom who he is, to share his visions, to feel his emotions, to understand my man. The desire is still there,

but now I fan the flame!

This knowing never ends.

O God help me never forget what a magnificent gift I've been given! Make me worthy of such a pleasurable and immense gift! Give me wisdom and grace to not neglect my privilege but to reverence and love my husband according to Your Word.

THANK YOU LORD FOR MY BELOVED, THE CHIEFEST AMONG TEN THOUSAND!